Sunday, January 13, 2013

Dishonesty is one of the 4 D's, right?

Remember how I said “I’m back to blogging! I promise!!” And then proceeded to not blog for an entire two months? Yeah, oops. 

I'm sorry I was dishonest!!! I miss you guys SO MUCH! I mean it, I really miss you when I am not here! So many things have happened in my life in the past few months and I couldn’t even begin to share it all with you. I am in kind of a bad place right now, feeling very down and out and just not wanting to be online much. 

Remember that mean ol’ professor that I blogged about previously? Yeah well…a lot has happened. He is a horrible person and I hate him. Yes, hate. Yes, I know you aren’t supposed to say that word. Yes, I know it’s bad. I know. But I mean it just the same.

I can't even begin to tell the story here because it's just too complicated but basically I got him in trouble and now he is mad at me and trying to make my life hell. And he can succeed in that pretty easily because I attend a very small university and he's one of two professors that teach all the classes in my major.

I might go in to it more later but basically I have been dreading school and dreading any interactions with him because they are all miserable. I love school so much and so not liking it has made me feel very depressed and I feel so angry with him because he took away something that used to be so wonderful for me. I still have an amazing group of friends and they all know the situation and are mad at him too but that doesn't really make anything better. Oh well. Only five months left and then I graduate college and I never have to see him again!!!!!

Anyways, enough vanilla. Now on to DD!

Sooo I have this best friend whom I love dearly. She didn’t want to read 50 shades of grey but she knew I had read it and she asked me about it since she had heard people talking about it. She read a few excerpts online and she wanted to get my take on it.

Also, you should know that ever since I started reading about all this DD stuff I’ve been pretty verbal about wanting a husband who is “in charge.” Of course I haven’t mentioned the DD part of it. I’ve just said that I want a man who is a manly man, who takes initiative and will be the leader of me and our home.

Well my best friend knows me pretty well and after reading parts of 50 shades she asked me...

“Is that the kind of man you want? When you want a husband who is in charge, do you mean like Christian Grey?”

“Not exactly. I think a lot of the things between Christian and Ana are really unhealthy. But...”

Shut up JJ. Shut up.

“But what?” She pressed.

"Well I like certain aspects of their relationship."


"Like what?"

Ug. So I spilled the beans and told her briefly what DD is. Do you know that is an oxy-moron? There is not such thing as "briefly explaining DD." Answering one question would lead to two more questions. I didn't mind but it was just odd trying to bring her into this world.

It was like when a nerdy person is completely obsessed with some TV series and they try to tell someone else about it. You cannot simply tell a person who has NEVER heard of that TV series all of the details. You cannot jump in their face and say "these are the characters and this guy is related to this guy and this girl is their enemy and this guy has a special power but you don't know that until Episode 17. Also this guy used to be married to her and this guy used to be bad but he turned good and..."

You can't do that. Because your friend will freak out and not be able to keep up. You have to start slow. You have to say one thing at a time and slowly bring them into this crazy world you live in.

That's how I feel about DD. I can't simply explain it all in one conversation! Well of course I, being the wonderfully bright person that I am, (ha!) mentioned blogging because that's where I get most of my information from and then she was begging me to read some blogs. I thought maybe that would be helpful, you know, maybe help answer some questions...well I was wrong!

I quickly found a blog post from Susie's blog and one from Tess's. I tried to skim them first but I didn't have a lot of time so I just handed my phone over and she began reading. Well, I love both of you and I love both of your blogs but those two wonderful posts that I chose introduced many, many more questions!!

“What is maintenance?”, "What is a reminder spanking?", "What is a warmup?", "Isn't that mean of her husband?"

Oh I would just so happen to pick the two juiciest posts that had so much information!! :D I tried to answer all of her questions as best as I could but it’s hard when I still don’t know many answers myself.

It’s hard to explain to someone “in the outside world” that these men aren’t just spank-happy dictators who wait for you to mess up and throw you over a knee. I can see how just by reading one or two posts a person could gather that but it’s so much more than that! I realized this really is a whole new world and it's hard to bring someone in when you know it so well. There is so much vocabulary that I didn't even realize I had become accustomed too, so many different aspects to try and explain!

Oh it was crazy but she is my best friend and in the end she just laughed and thought I was kinda silly. She didn't think it was any big deal and I really appreciated it. I told her she could ask me about it anytime and she has brought up a few questions here or there but I think it lost it's newness now so it's out of the limelight and we are back to discussing boys and complaining about homework.

I have so much more to say and discuss and I have a really crazy story to tell you all but I will save it for a little later this week!

I really am back for good! I’ll make it a goal to post weekly and keep up with you all!! I really do miss you guys and I miss the network! :(


  1. Well hello stranger. ;) So happy to hear from you JJ. Sorry to hear things are rough with your jerko prof. You can get through the next 5 months - I have faith in you. Just remember, when you're out of there, with your degree, he'll still be living his miserable little life and won't have you to pick on anymore.

    I laughed reading about you trying to explain DD to your friend. And you had to pick two of the juiciest posts?!? LOL

    If you need to vent regarding the prof or anything else, you know we are all here and on your side. Hang in there sweetie.

    Hugs and Blessings,

    1. Hey Cat!! hehe thanks for the encouragement! You know I had to just so happen to pick the juiciest posts!! Darn!

      Thank you for being on my side! Even though we don't "know" each other, it encourages me so much to know there are people here who care :)

  2. Some professors like to think of themselves as gods, and how dare anyone ever even disagree with their ways. At least you are close to graduating. He may be mad, but maybe he learned something. I missed your posts and your young perspective on things. Welcome back. God bless you and all you love, Belle L.

    1. Yeah he's really a jerk. He can't ever hear that he's wrong! Thanks Belle! :)

  3. Oh man...I can only imagine the questions! Definitely a conversation that could snowball and get out of control pretty quickly lol. That's awesome that she took it all in stride and you don't feel any awkwardness about it - she sounds like a good bestie:)

    Hang in there with school. You will be onward and upward before you know it!

    1. haha the hardest thing to explain was maintenance. She really couldn't get it and I really couldn't explain it well!!

      Thanks - I can't wait to be DONE!! :D

  4. I missed you... I understand about blogging. I never have time anymore. But, I missed you and I'm glad you are back. I told two of my best friends too. LOL, I didn't have the nerve to send them to a blog. I was too afraid they would find me.

    It was different for them to know about me- I jsut don't want them to know all my intimate details.

    Well, I can't wait to hear more. Keep in touch this time girl!

    1. Hey Pooky Thanks! How did your best friends react? :)

  5. Welcome back JJ! I'm sorry about the problems you've been having in regard to that professor. Ugh. Good thing you're almost done!

    Now, as for the conversation with your best friend...yikes! Yeah, I can see how one question would lead to another and to another and to another. At least she didn't seem upset or worried about you or anything. Who knows, maybe she was intrigued herself! ;)

    1. Hi Grace!! Thanks!! yeah he's really stupid. uhhh

      Hehe I love my best friend - she's pretty chill about most things so I figured it would be okay to tell her :)

  6. LOL, you are a brave lady--telling a friend about this and then letting her read a little bit. I wonder if she'll say anything in the future or if she'll go to sleep and forget all about it. Hard to know I guess.

    Sorry about the professor. If this is the kind of school I think it is, I sure hope that you can sit down with him and work through it. It would be so sad to have a horrible last semester after such a good experience for the past years.

    1. SUSIE!!! :D
      She has brought it up once or twice since then just to ask a brief question but then we move on to something else. I think it's probably over discussing for the most part though :)

      Well, the situation with the professor is very complicated and we've tried to "talk it out" so many times. It's really not helpful when one of us can't be a mature adult about the situation. "Talking it out" seems to keep making things worse so I have given up on that option and am now hoping to just get out of here.

      Thanks Susie! :)

  7. JJ, I am glad you are back. And, what a lot of information you had to share in this post! Good gosh:) I am SO sorry about this professor. As the others have said, please hang in there. Say a prayer, think before you speak or act, and be diligent in your school work! Which I am sure you are, but just a gentle reminder and of course "we" are on your team!

    I think that is neat you talked to your friend and in the end it sounds like it went OK. You picked two great blogs to reference, too:) Well, keep blogland posted when you can. I will think of you in the days ahead for school. Hugs, SNP

    1. Hi SNP! Thanks!! School is rough right now but you are right - praying beforehand always will make it better!

      Thanks!! I've missed you and your sweet comments! :)