Saturday, November 19, 2011

About Me


Welcome! Allow me to introduce myself

The first thing you should know is, in the words of Stormy, I don't really fit in here. At all. First and foremost, I should start out by saying I am not in a DD marriage. Or any marriage for that matter. I am a college student in my early twenties and I am still waiting for "the one". And it feels like he is taking FOR-EV-ER to show up!

For as long as I can remember I’ve always had dreams about my future husband spanking me and not just sexual spankings, but I mean actual punishment-you-will-never-do-this-again spankings. (I know I know - I am crazy!) I am a psychology major and so I often try to figure out why people think the the things they do. And I suppose I understand why I feel this way.

My father was never in charge of the house when I was growing up and things didn’t go very well. My parents got divorced when I was eight and since then I lived with my mom and never had any more contact with my father until I was eighteen. My mom was the complete opposite of "firm" or "in charge" with me. She almost always let me do whatever I wanted even at ages where I should never have been allowed to make the decisions I did. 

Because of this unhealthy set up, I suffered a lot of hurt and heartache and regrets. I’ve always wanted someone to make the decisions, to lead me. There were so many times I would push and push trying to get my mother to say "no" or tell me to stop. During high school and into my college years I have always been drawn to dominant people; I always greatly admire my teachers, bosses, or mentors who are in charge and have boundaries drawn. The bottom line is that a life - any life, with DD or not - needs boundaries to feel safe. And I want to feel safe. And I just know he’s out there somewhere – some wonderful Christian man just waiting to be appointed HOH of me and our household.

I was spanked as a child by both of my parents and I never enjoyed it. I was never never spanked out of love. I was never spanked because my parents lovingly tried to teach me to make better choices. It was always just a spur of the moment thing when I pushed them too far and they reached out in anger because they were so frustrated they didn’t know what else to do, and they used spanking as a tool for them to get their frustrations out.

A few years ago I was messing around on Google trying to figure out if anyone else in the whole world could possible understand me or feel the way I feel. I stumbled across Finding Sara's blog and I read the whole thing. I then began researching Domestic Discipline everywhere and I found some things I agree with and some things I don't like at all and I spent awhile trying to sort it all out.

Since then, I have been here. Just a lurker. It's funny because I feel like I know so many of you guys but you don't know me! I have been here and laughed at Finding Sara's playful banter and how Grant says the "F" word ("Forbid!"); and I have cringed when Rogue and Jared went through their rough times and then rejoiced when all was well again. I have felt sorry for Kay not getting to have her sweet wine, and I have been here silently watching as Stormy wondered if she should tell Ogre about her blog and then waited almost painfully for his response. I am silent because I feel like I have no place to speak. Who am I to give advice or say "I know how that feels" when I don't? I don't know because I'm not there. It's hard wanting something that's almost ahead of your time - like a thirteen-year-old desperately wanting to drive and just knowing they aren't going to be able to be there yet.

Dominance is the absolute number two quality that I’m looking for in a man (Christian is number one). I want a man who will insist the family goes to church on Sunday and who won’t let me text and drive. I want a man who will help me budget and teach me how to be more responsible with my money.

I feel as though this is too much to ask at times. When listing qualities for their future hubby, my friends list things like: big muscles, good sense of humor, likes the same kind of music, etc. Yeah those things would be nice but I just want an HOH who loves me deeply and whom I can love and respect in return.

About a year and a half ago I stumbled upon blog with a post that sums up precisely how I feel. I went back to try and find it now but I can't! (was it FindingSara's??) It told a story about a young girl who had been in a bad relationship and then said “I want a man to be the head of the house but I want to at least fight him for it.” That's so perfect. That's exactly what I want.

And I feel like I’ve been waiting a long time. I’m getting older people! My body has already made all the eggs it’s going to make! I’m ready! I’m ready to be a wife and a mom! So HURRY UP MR. HOH-knight-in-shining-armor-with-a-paddle-in-hand!


  1. Great first post and explanation. You know what you want, and that's a wonderful beginning. I'm not supposed to be "here" but I love to encourage cute new baby bumpkin blogs. :)

    I can only say one thing..and you probably won't listen to me anyway- be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. *smile*


  2. Hi JJ. Welcome to blogging! Don't worry about not fitting...there's a bunch of us who felt that way in the beginning. Write your blog for you and to help you process all the things you are thinking about. Did you know that there are a couple yahoo groups set up for singles?

  3. Hi JJ, and welcome to blogland! You've read around enough to know we're a diverse group and you'll find your niche if you keep writing, reading, and start leaving comments, so you make blogger friends. People will be most welcoming! You don't have tp have asdvice to offer. Questions work just fine for beginning dialogues! ;)

    That post you're looking for was on my blog. It is about a discussion I had with my college student daughter who's in her early 20's!

    I pulled my old posts and have been slowly reposting them. I'll try to find it for you.

    Nice start! Sara

  4. Here you go JJ:

  5. Stormy - Thanks so much! That means a lot to me! I love LOVE your blog! :) And you're right - I still wish for it! hehe!!

    Susie - Thanks! And no I didn't know that! Are they singles groups in general or about DD?

    Sara - Yes that's the one!! Thanks!! :) I thought for sure it was on your blog but I couldn't find it yesterday! Thank you for the kind welcome!

  6. Welcome to blogging! It's very nice to "meet" you. :)

  7. welcome to blogland :)
    this is a great community with lots of ears for listening, words of wisdom and funny stories to share. Im glad you found us, and i love your first post :) you know what you want and thats a great start.
    And i echo stormy's words of advice be careful what you wish may just get it hehehehe - im finding that out for myself just lately - but its great :D
    love and hugs kiwi xxxx

  8. Thanks Rogue!! :) I LOVE your blog!

    Thank you for the warm welcome kiwigirlie! I'm excited to get to know you better! :)

  9. Welcome to blogland, JJ! A great first post and you even made me think about something from my childhood that I hadn't really thought about in regard to DD, so thanks! ;)

  10. It was great learning a little about you, JJ! Welcome to blogland!


  11. Hi JJ, just over from Bonnie's! Welcome to blogland - here is an enormous range of blogs, no need to worry about fitting in. And no rules on what is interesting, just do your own thing! :-)