Friday, January 27, 2012

Someday I'll Tell the Secret

I had dinner with a friend of mine the other day. I should say mentor - she's about twenty years my senior and she is much more of a mentor type person. She used to be my Sunday school teacher when I was very little and she has grown to be a very close friend of the family. We hang out like we are "friends" - but it's usually just me spilling my guts about my life and she listens and gives advice.

We hadn't seen each other in several months and we made arrangements to get together this past week. We went out to eat and she was asking me about my plans and of course a husband came up because that's something I always mention in my hopefully near future. We hadn't seen each other in over six months so she was unaware of my recent decision to want an HOH and be a submissive wife. :)

She laughed when I told her I want my man to be the "head of the household". She literally got out her phone and recorded me saying that because she thinks I'll change my mind. Little does she know! hehe

She is very happily married and has been for several years (20? Maybe? Just a guess) and she agreed that submitting was the only way to make a marriage work well. Someone has to be the leader. You can't both lead. I agreed. She was very proud of my recent decision and she said that "Messing up that dynamic can be painful for your marriage relationship."

I laughed so hard!

I wanted to say "and your butt!" But I didn't.

She kept asking me what made me change my mind. What made me decide I wanted this type of relationship? I refused to tell her any details. I giggled and told her someday when I was happily married I would tell her. I kept shrugging it off as just a recent decision I had made but OF COURSE she won't let anything go! I just kept telling her I would tell her later...when she was older ;)

Finally when she really wouldn't let it go I just said I had read some things that, to me, romanticized the idea of the man being in charge and I decided I wanted that. Don't get me wrong - I understand (as much as I could without being there) that this isn't like happy-go-lucky easy breezy peachy keen lifestyle where everything is perfect. I know it's not romantic a lot of times. I know it's hard. Hard work. And not always fun. I get it. But it was basically what I could tell her that was truthful without a lot of details.

It's not like she would freak out. She wouldn't. She's very open-minded and understanding about everything and she would probably ask a lot of questions and then smile and say she thinks it's cool for me. She's like that. Always open to new ideas and pretty supportive of things once she researches them. I've told her things before that I thought would blow her away but she's pretty solid and knowledgeable.

I don't know why I just didn't want to tell her. It's not time yet ya know?

I think it's funny and maybe someday soon I'll be able to


  1. How wonderful that you have a friend/mentor like that JJ. Treasure her because those friends/mentors can be hard to find. :)

  2. JJ, I have told two of my dearest friends. It was hard but I'm so glad I shared it. I need their support. I hope you can share this someday..