She doesn't freak out about much and she didn't "freak out" but she did ask a lot of questions. She was thoughtful and more then a little bit concerned.
It all started because she was noting how my relationship with God has changed so much in the past few months. I used to be really angry with God for a lot of things in my life, I was really not respectful, I would yell at Him all the time for making things in my life not work out and I would criticize His timing, His plans, and I told Him all the time that I could do it better. It was like a bad marriage. It's comical to me, even now typing this that I say God and I were headed for the end of the road when I decided to start viewing Him as my HOH. That concept revolutionized the way I related to Him in every area. When I started to think of things like God gently correcting me because He loves me and wants to protect me, I stopped getting so angry when I got caught doing bad things. When I started submitting to His leadership, life just worked a whole lot easier.
My mom noticed a big difference in my life, how church suddenly became important and how I stopped hanging out with some friends who weren't so great for me. When she asked me why the change, I started to try to explain it to her but I couldn't explain properly without just telling her the whole shabang. My mom and I really tell each other EVERYTHING so I'm kind of surprised I kept this from her for so long in the first place. I felt that she would find out eventually and it seemed like a good time to tell her. She had lots of questions...
"So is this just like a sexual thing?"
"No. Of course there's sexual aspects to it, but it's not about sex. It's not a game. It's a serious way to help remind me to be respectful and to help my husband be the leader."
She was quiet for a little bit and then she said "I just don't want you to be abused. I think it could very easily become abuse! How do you know the line?"
I assured her there IS a definite line and I DEFINITELY know where it is. I told her he's not allowed to hit me anywhere else on my body and it's not just something for him to do when he's angry. It's a shared agreement and it's consensual. Abuse isn't consensual. Abuse causes harm and discord and hurt, DD doesn't do any of those things. I tried to explain this all to her very delicately, and she listened but she still seemed concerned.
A few minutes later she said "Do you think a man would ever really do that lovingly? Men are very controlling and power hungry and you give them a little bit of control and it could be scary." (See where I get my unhealthy view of men?! No wonder!! SHEESH!)
"Yes mom there are lots of really good Christian men who do this and they are very sweet and loving! I promise!"
"Have you ever met any couples that practice this?"
"Umm...well....not in person!" We kind of started talking about other things and then at the very end of the conversation she said
"Just please be careful."
"I will mom." :)
So that's it. Mom knows now. And we probably won't talk about it again for at least ten more years!